


Thin Lines

by FranksAndStein



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Child Abandonment, Creature Fic, Gen, Jim is adopted by Vulcans, M/M, Reaperverse, Slow Burn, Sort of creature fic, Tarsus IV, Unintentional Emotional Neglect, themes of death, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7665673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranksAndStein/pseuds/FranksAndStein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Kirk is abandon by his mother after being rescued from Tarsus by a passing Vulcan ship. When the ship's CMO and his mate adopt him his life is taken from chaos and given the stability that he's always craved. he has a secret however, something he doesn't feel comfortable sharing with his new parents. Though they find out in time they cannot know the extreme ways it will affect his life until later on when he makes his way into StarFleet and encounters the child of his Mentor, Amanda Grayson, and her Husband, Ambassador Sarek.</p><p> </p><p>(Rating may change as story progresses.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rescued from Hell

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ THIS!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> I'm working on establishing something here, a play on death. Obviously I can't stop anyone from using this concept, however if you want to borrow the concepts I'm directly working on developing I ask that you wait until I've finished fleshing them out. I'm close, but I still have a bit of work to do and several stories in progress that will all portray a different aspect and parts of the history. 
> 
> So I'll need to make a collective post somewhere about the lore and abilities and will post a link with one of the updates. So please wait patiently.

Tarsus IV. 

Jim “JT” Kirk stood solemnly, overlooking the mass grave. Barely thirteen and already the innocence of childhood was over, if it had ever been there in the first place. Jim had been born of death and destruction. The death of George Kirk had stained the day of Jim’s birth with misery, overshadowing the child with the greatness left behind by a man who would never return. It was a permanent darkness that seemed impossible to escape; and worse than that, it seemed to be following Jim wherever the child ventured to.

Tarsus IV was supposed to be the beginning of something great. They were supposed to thrive and live happily. But when the plants became diseased Jim and his friends had sought to inform the governor as well as the adults of the strange blackness taking over the crops. Genius or not Jim had only been eleven at the time so the adults didn’t listen. The disease didn’t seem to be spreading very quickly, however, so perhaps it was simply not a worry for the moment. A year later the small colony lost half its’ crops to the disease. Jim began hoarding all he could. His instincts had demanded it; then it happened. 

Kodos called for a state of emergency. The crops had completely failed, so they would be rationing the food supply until Starfleet could be contacted. He promised it would only be a few weeks, a month at most. Two months, then three, people were becoming weak, and sick. Families were called to the governor’s home and simply never returned. 

Jim wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening and with as little guilt and thought as he could manage he snuck into the homes in the dead of night, pillaging what little food and clothing they had. The homes, however, weren’t safe. Jim had known they would be called eventually and hidden his stash away in the cave system outside the boarders of the colony. 

His Mentor had gone next. Hoshi, the little old woman who traded knowledge for help with her garden, had thrust a PADD into Jim’s grubby hands and hugged him tightly before she’d been escorted by soldiers to the mansion. Rumors were going around that people were being escorted family by family off the dying planetoid by passing civilian crafts. But the rotting smell told another story.

Jim knew what rotting produce smelled like. He’d lived in a farming community before he’d pissed Frank off enough for his mom to actually take notice and send him to actual caring family; this was not the putrid smell of decaying soybeans. It was so much worse. 

With renewed reason Jim had raided Hoshi’s home as soon as the militia was out of sight, taking journals and data pads, her preservatives and anything that looked remotely edible or important and hid them away. Later he’d returned for the many blankets the woman kept, but the house had been gutted. It seemed that he wasn’t the only one stealing from the abandoned homes.

More families left, Jim continued to gather what he could and hide it deep in the caves, then his was called. His aunt and uncle had been botanists, one specializing in the medicinal aspects and the other had been helping to combat the disease. They were of no more use. Jim warned them, they could run, they could hide and pretend they weren’t home or sneak out the back and run when the soldiers entered the house. Instead his aunt and uncle had ordered he and his cousin to stay put and allowed themselves to be lead away. Jim gathered all he could, his older cousin, Terry, emptied the linin closet of the blankets and pillows, and Jim showed him just where he’d been going to at night. 

Weeks passed Jim and his cousin gathered more and more children who had been left by their families, pillaged houses as they saw families being escorted away and rationed out everything they could. Jim continued to pilfer electronics in addition to their necessities both so the younger kids could preoccupy themselves when the older ones were out foraging, and so Jim could use the code Hoshi had left behind in a garbled mix of alien languages and outdated binary coding. 

Jim got his chance the night he was captured. They’d just lost three more children, all under the age of five to starvation. They’d buried them and Jim left. Himself included, there were only a handful of children remaining, and he would die to get them out of there. Along with him, was Kevin Riley, and his cousin. They were caught outside of the mansion and carted in to face Kodos.

Things seemed to speed up from that point. Jim couldn’t remember what exactly happened, but he knew he’d activated the program that had begun sending out emergency signals, he knew that he, his cousin, and Kevin Riley had escaped, though his cousin had been forced to tourniquet his leg and be half dragged from the compound and back to their camp. And then he was standing there, on the edge of the pit containing the bodies of the people who thought they were being lead to passenger shuttles and others who had resigned themselves to death.

Starfleet it seemed was still day’s away, maybe weeks, but in their place was a Vulcan shuttle settling down in the fields. They would be appalled by such a blatant disregard for life, especially knowing that one of their own was amongst the dead. She had been a talented scientist, assisting with the stabilization of the atmosphere and assisting Jim with his lessons in Vulcan when Hoshi had reprimanded him time and time again for his pronunciations. Jim cried there, looking over the dead, and saying his final goodbyes to spirits long since faded.

He made his way back to the fields to greet the Vulcan crew. They, as he had guessed, were obviously disgusted. Several looked particularly ill, the smell probably, but they didn’t say anything as Jim approached. He whistled loudly, safety, and heard the answering call, all is well. The crew seemed to understand. However, as children began to emerge from the cave system, malnourished, draped in sheets and blankets for warmth, the alarm was quite clear, even to those not looking for it.

The Vulcan people were silent as they guided the children onto the craft. One of them made a short call requesting a second craft and for the medical personnel to be prepared for their arrival and an emergency amputation. 

Jim softly placed a hand on one of the younger children as he buckled in next to her. Her family had flown in on the same shuttle as he had. She was one of the first they had taken to the cave. She was only a six and her family had been one of the first on the kill list all because Mollie had been born deaf. Jim had picked up on it quickly once she was with them and began teaching the others how to communicate with her when they were hidden away in the daytime.

‘ I’m scared,’ She signed. ‘ What will happen to us now?’

Jim frowned a little as watery brown eyes looked up at him, begging for answers. ‘Keep living.’ he responded. ‘We do what we can to make sure nothing like this happens again for as long as we’re breathing.’

Mollie bit her lip, wiping her eyes, and nodded. ‘Okay.’

Jim touched her arm again, and smiled as best he could. ‘It’s still okay to cry, it’s a sign that you’re alive.’

A chorus of sniffles followed the signed words, older kids translated for the younger, sharing Jim’s words. A few looked up to Jim, nodding as they tried to fight off tears. Mollie touched him this time, smiling at him and snuggling into his side as best she could with the harness like buckles keeping them in their seats.

The shuttle docked only a short while after it had gathered them and slowly the older children helped the younger ones unbuckle, Jim and Kevin assembled them in a line so none would get lost and each took one of Terry’s arms to lift him from his seat. His leg was dead now but at least he wasn’t bleeding out, and he would survive.

“If you shall allow it,” An older Vulcan woman said, approaching from the front. “I will assist you in the transport of this boy.”

“You okay with that, Terry?” Jim asked. The pale boy nodded. Honestly, Jim and Kevin were far too short to be carrying him like they were, but many of those who were tall enough not to drag the boy were also weakened by the famine and could hardly lift the smaller children when necessary. Jim, who for whatever reason was able to maintain his weight despite his insubstantial fat and caloric intake, and Kevin, whom received extra portions due to his willingness to house break in the more dangerous areas, were the only two with the strength to lift the older teen. 

The woman scooped Terry up with little effort, “I will pass him onto the medical officers who will begin the operation on his leg. After your own medical evaluations, should you wish it, you will be allowed to visit him.”

“Thank you.” Jim said.

“Thanks are not necessary. It is logical.” She left them in the shuttle.

“Jim.” Kevin said slowly. “Thanks, we couldn’t have survived without you.”

Jim shook his head. “If I hadn’t done something, someone else would have. There are still other people living down there without any knowledge of what’s been happening. Someone would have found out and started protesting. With so few people Kodos wouldn’t have been able to kill or have the person killed without drawing attention to himself or starting a mass panic.”

“What do you mean?” Kevin followed him from into the bay.

“I mean, if people went missing everytime they started talking about how Kodos was actually killing half of the population it would only draw more attention to what really happened. The only way he could get away with it would be to keep the populace too distracted to notice and too scared to speak.” Jim spotted their group and began dragging Kevin towards them. “Tarsus IV was an experiment. The entire ‘civilian’ population was scientist and their children. The elderly and families with children were the first to be put in the kill list. So of course it would make sense to say they have priority to be taken off Planet. No one would refute that. But it would be suspicious if young families suddenly went missing with no specific order.

“These are people whose lives are dedicated to searching for patterns. It might have taken a while, but someone would have noticed.”

“So Kodos essentially shot himself in the foot.”

“He shot himself in the head.” Jim muttered darker than intended as they drew up to the back of the group.

“…You will be bathed during your medical examinations, necessary clothing will be provided; you will then undergo a mental evaluation.” The Commander stated. “We will be arriving to the Alpha system in approximately twenty-five hours. What happens to you then I have no authority over.”

Jim sighed. Vaguely he wondered if his mother would be waiting for him when he returned or if she would be worried over him. Frank certainly wouldn’t if he was still in the picture. Hell, he’d be lucky if anyone in his family even showed up to retrieve him. He followed after the group as the ships commander handed them off to a medical officer. Jim assumed the second shuttle that had gone to the surface was staying until the Fleet made an appearance. Though, now that the settlement was actually sending out wave after wave of emergency signals it wouldn’t be long.

The small group followed the Vulcan through the corridors of the ship. Mollie had migrated back through the line towards Jim and clutched his hand. He could sense the nervousness pouring off of her and he wondered if they’d allow him to be present during her evaluations, or if they had someone that would be able to communicate with her properly. They were Vulcan and were typically the kind of beings that were prepared for any situation, but he couldn’t assume that they would know Human sign language based on that alone. 

The sterile smell that Jim recognized as ‘hospital’ drifted towards his nose. It was a comforting scent for once. The Vulcan leading them stepped aside, motioning for them to enter the room and followed closely.

Examinations didn’t take long. They were underweight and malnourished, but the Doctor had informed them that there were no lasting physical effects to most of them. Terry, it seemed, was the only exception. He was sedated and in a bed separate from the others, but the doctors had informed Jim that he would be waking within the day. He was alive and that’s what was important.

“You’re examination is the last.” The doctor in charge of them said in his toneless way. 

Jim shrugged. He knew he was the healthiest of them, somehow and didn’t expect there would be anything wrong with him. But as the Vulcan ran the tricorder across him, then had him sit on the bed for a more intensive scan it became clear he was incorrect. An odd tone came from the machine reading his vitals and genetic coding.

The Doctor grunted in a very unVulcan manner. “Fascinating.” He stated. “I have not witnessed this occurrence in the human species. What is your heritage?”

“Human as far as I know.” Jim answered. It wasn’t an untrue statement, but it was inaccurate. His mother and father had been different, he knew. They had always run towards danger rather than away, or at least that’s what his brother had said. He also knew that, genetically, he was different from larger humanity and that his step-dad, Frank, didn’t share his families odd genetic predispositions or affinity for death. Sam had tried to explain to him all that he could, but it was always watered down.

The Doctor nodded his head, accepting the answer. “You have maintained a healthy weight despite the conditions. It is my belief that you may have non-human ancestry that has perhaps shown itself in light of the traumatic events. If you would allow it I can inform you of the species with a DNA sample.”

Jim shrugged. “Okay, I guess, but I don’t think you’ll find anything.”

“You seem certain.” The Vulcan commented, attaching a small device to Jim’s arm. “Is there a reason for this?”

“No,” Jim answered. “I just thought my mom or brother would have told me something like that.” He frowned as the machine made another strange sound. He wasn’t sure if it was because something strange had showed up, or if it was saying the sample was complete; but since the man wasn’t removing the device Jim felt himself becoming anxious. “If…” his eyebrows scrunched together, “If it does come up weird, maybe don’t tell anyone?”

The Vulcan made a strange grunt again as he observed some screen behind Jim’s head. “You have an uncommon genetic formation. It seems that it has caused a decrease in your cellular breakdown as well as energy consumption.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Jim tried to turn his head to see the screen. He saw it, he could see the genetic breakdown, the formulas and the structure; but he couldn’t understand what it meant. The doctor was seeing something unusual that Jim couldn’t see. It was unnerving, and somewhat terrifying. The Vulcan’s brow was drawn together as he continued to scan the readout. Jim watched his face intently, attempting to gauge what the doctor was thinking. 

Finally the device was removed. “As you are my patient at this time, what has occurred will not be spoken of to any other. However, if you amiable I would like to continue to study your genetic structure.” He eyed the small human with interest. “If your guardian also agrees.”

Jim flopped back on to the stiff mattress. “I’m not sure if I will have a guardian.” He said. “Mom sent me to Tarsus to live with my aunt and uncle because her husband was an abusive jerk…She’s probably still off in space somewhere anyhow.”

“I see.” The doctor said. “It would be logical to assume that she would return given the report we have sent to Starfleet.”

“Mom isn’t logical.” Jim answered easily; not bitter or angry, just accepting of the hand he’d been dealt. “She spent every minute after I started primary school away, didn’t even come home when I drove my dad’s car into a ravine when I was nine. Didn’t come home when my brother ran away, didn’t come home to see me off to Tarsus, I don’t see why she would come home now, just because I’m returning.

“I’m not beat up over it,” Jim said. 

“Your mother is inattentive.” It wasn’t a question. 

“She is my mother though.” 

 

Upon arrival at the space station the parents and guardians of the child survivors of Tarsus IV met them with opened arms and teary smiles. The children, clad in oversized uniform shirts that that been donated by the ever logical Vulcan crew, cried as it finally began to sink in that they were safe. They were no longer being hunted like animals or putting themselves in danger for the wellbeing of others. They wouldn’t have to fight to survive but instead remember how to live.

Jim said his goodbye’s to Molly, to Kevin, and even to his Cousin who had been picked up by a medical crew who would be delivering him to his grandparents. It seemed that he was the only one left. Frank wasn’t there, thank god, but neither was his mother, brother, or the distant family that he knew existed but had never had the chance to meet. He supposed he could still return to Earth, stay in a foster home for a while and search for his brother or something while he completed school , or…

He touched his cheeks, baffled by the warm moister on his fingertips. Maybe he was more upset by the absence of his family than he’d realized he would be. Maybe…maybe he’d been more affected by the events of Tarsus than he’d realized. It would be nice to have an adult murmur comforts to him, to tell him that he would be okay and that they would do all they could to help him. It would have been nice to be on the receiving end of a warm hug rather than to be the one shelling them out, even if he did love giving them and soothing the others. 

Clenching his jaw, Jim lifted his head with closed eyes and wiped away the escaping tears. Now was not the time to cry, if he still needed to later he could but only after he’d figured out what he was going to do. He’d been without a caring adult for months; he didn’t necessarily need one now just because he wasn’t in immediate danger.

Jim sniffled, still fighting back tears as he kept his chin up; He might not have needed an adult or a comforting hand…But it would be nice.

“James Kirk?” The monotone voice caught his attention instantly. The Vulcan doctor, Sulen, stood a short distance away. His greying hair was neat as always and face particularly blank; all except for the small crease between his upturned brows. “You remain?”

Wiping his eyes again, Jim spun around, smiling like he did when he comforted the children on the ship. “Yeah,” He drew out with forced enthusiasm and closed eyes in an attempt not to let the Vulcan see their glassy appearance. “Looks like I was right when I said Mom was still out in space somewhere.”

Sulen remained silent for a time, observing the boy with a critical eye, before reaching out a callused hand and placing it heavily on the child’s shoulder. “I grieve with thee.”

Jim laughed, pushing the hand away. “What’s there to grieve? I’m used to being on my own.” He opened his eyes, but wouldn’t meet the Vulcan’s gaze. “I didn’t expect anyone, so…” Jim’s jaw tightened. “…No one ever really…Thank you for your help.”

“Thanks are not necessary.” Sulen said. He reached out again, placing his hand on Jim’s back and pulling him forwards into an awkward hug. “My research has provided me with the knowledge that human youth need frequent physical contact.”

“But I thought Vulcan-kind didn’t like being touched.” Jim said stiffly, trying to worm his way out of the tight hold.

“Physical contact amongst Vuhlkansu is considered personal. It is simply not done, however you are not Vulcan and it is logical to comfort you in a manner in which you are familiar.” Sulen glanced downwards at the boy who was projecting fear and discomfort. Had it not been for the overwhelming sadness he would have long since let go. The boy was not afraid of the touch, but rather afraid of the acknowledgement. He was afraid of being notice. 

Jim snorted at the explanation, it was ridiculous, but he stopped struggling. It was nice, and the doctor was right; humans were social and liked to live in communities. Touch was part of their communication, it was below the surface, below the conscious level, but it was important. Children who had been denied touch had had suffered emotional and psychological troubles. Jim knew that much. He’d been to a therapist when he was on Tarsus IV. He’d been getting better; he trusted his aunt and uncle to look out for him and did his best to be good. Faced with the fact that they had died to protect him and Terry though, and faced with the fact that his own mother couldn’t even send an inquiry on whether or not he was okay…He felt himself regressing as if the trust for authority figures had drained out of him as he’d watched spirits depart into the void.

The arms tightened around him and Jim, unable to continue standing passively, wrapped his arms around the Vulcan’s torso, clinging to his uniform. Why didn’t anyone want him? They kept him around, but no one cared what he got up to as long as he wasn’t causing them trouble; and when he did cause trouble they pawned him off on whatever person came next. He’d been happy with his aunt and uncle. They were normal scientists. Not like him with his weirdness; but they had loved him anyhow, and he’d only brought death to them in the same way he’d damned his own father.

Sulen inhaled sharply. The emotion’s the boy was projecting were strong and volatile, much more so than before when he’d been resisting them. Even through the fabric of his uniform, and the uniform Jim had been provided, he could feel the turbulence. 

“If you are amenable,” he said. “It would not be difficult to arrange temporary custody until you mother is able to be contacted and a permanent solution can be arranged.”

“Moving from place to place isn’t fun.” Jim muttered. “I’d rather just be alone.”

The Vulcan raised a hand and tentatively placed it on the back of Jim’s head. “You are mistaken.” Sulen said. “I imply that you would come to my planet. My commission is ending, and my bondmate has expressed interest in caring for another child. However we are both passed the age in which it would be…Nonlife threatening to produce a child of our own biology.”

“You never had kids?”

“We have three. All have reached maturity and bonded.” 

“I’m an emotional human.” Jim said, trying his hardest to keep the hope out of his voice as well as the sadness. He knew, of course, that the doctor had already known what he was feeling. The hand awkwardly patting his hair was likely picking up concentrated amounts of emotion, being so close to his meld points. “I have different biology. I don’t know how the atmosphere would affect me.”

“And yet I, a medical doctor, do.” Sulen released his hold on the young man. “If you wish it, I will not persist. However, I should inform you that Vuhlkansu are equally emotional to Terrans, if not more so. Our young will deny such a fact, as they will deny being illogical at times; but to be alive is to be illogical and to be tempered with emotion. We merely value logic, and wish to implement it, that doesn’t not necessitate that we successfully do so at all times.

“Regarding your reaction to the atmosphere…” he waited for Jim to meet his eyes. “It is not impossible for a human to live among us, as several already do. However it may take time for your body to adjust and thus you would need to be provided supplements until you may breathe without issue.”

Jim watched the man for a moment. This doctor, who had cared for him and the others, was willing to take care of him. But, he’d also made the request to study Jim’s biology further, so it wasn’t impossible to believe that he was taking advantage of his mother’s abandonment. It was a nice offer, even if he were just going to be an experiment. 

“You appear hesitant. Speak your mind.”

Jim frowned further. “You expressed interest in my genetic structure on the ship. It’s a nice offer, even if it’s just for me to be a research project; but I…I want…” The tears that he had been able to fight back in the Vulcan’s arms spilled out. He didn’t want to be selfish either. 

“Sulen.” A new voice joined them. “Have you caused this?”

“T’Mal.” The doctor said smoothly, almost affectionately. “I believe that I have, though it was not my intention.”

Looking away, Jim did his best to dry his face once more but couldn’t stop his lip from quivering. He recognized the woman of course, she’d been the one to take Terry and deliver him to the surgeons who’d removed his leg. He’d later learned that she was in charge of overseeing biological sciences, specifically botany. “S’rry.” He said quietly. “It’s not his fault.”

“What is the cause?” T’Mal asked.

“I’m just…Selfish.” Jim said. “Dr. Sulen offered to help me, but…I’m just…I want a family, I don’t want to be a research subject, or a burden. Once I’ve outlived my use I’ll just be sent back to Earth right? So wouldn’t it be better for me just to be alone from the start?”

“Sa-telsu,” T’Mal said. “Husband, explain his meaning.”

“Due to patient confidentiality I cannot elucidate in detail. I can however express that I found his genetic structure…intriguing and communicated interest in studying it further. In retrospect I should have elaborated that I would not do so without his permission.” Sulen stepped closer to Jim again. “I apologize, James. It is not my intention to use you as a means to an end, but rather to care for you, should you allow it, as I would my own progeny.”

Silence echoed loudly between the three in the bustle of the space station near Earth. Jim was silently weighing his options, the pros and cons, and trying to decide if he could handle potentially losing another family, or being taken from them should his mother come swooping in to steal him back. 

“Perhaps smaller words.” T’Mal suggested, observing the blank look on the human child’s face.

Jim seemed to snap out of it. “No, I understand. What happens when, if she finally responds, my mom tries to come for me? Or if she gives up parental rights?”

T’Mal reached out her hand, darker than Sulen’s, and placed it on his shoulder. “We would not give you up so easily.”

“Okay,” He said. “Alright…” They would learn eventually that raising a human, raising him, would be too much; but until that time came he would enjoy the thought that someone wanted him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be some mistakes here. I cut a large portion and condensed it down, but I've read through it a few times so I'm hoping I didn't miss anything. You'll probably know when you see it.
> 
> I'm a little nervous about sharing this. Everyone was so great and supportive about the first chapter, many of you left some very encouraging comments which a appreciate greatly. I hope you enjoy this one at least half as much. It's going in a weird direction I know.
> 
>  
> 
> Same as before applies. Please refrain from using concepts I'm directly working with/altering until I have them completely fleshed. Not long now...I think. World building is hard. But I would love to have everything out and connected before people play with it. (I also hope I'm not being arrogant that people would actually like to play with these concepts).

Jim watched from the window as the sun rose over the red terrain of Vulcan. It had been a little over three months in Earth time since he’d gone to live with Sulen and T’Mal. He hadn’t started school yet, having instead been given time to adjust to the atmosphere and participate in counseling. He had some trust issues, it seemed, and until very recently had expected the two Vulcan’s to decide he was too much trouble and send him back to Earth.

They hadn’t though, even though he was an emotional human and had to talk about his emotions with a people who were non-emotive at the very best, and cold at the worst. The pair would be starting at the VSA, as soon as Jim was well enough to begin his own classes, and would be teaching in their respective fields so Jim did his best to get well quickly; but they’d repeatedly informed him that there was no rush.

It was a weight off his shoulders, though he’d been skeptical at first; but as the weeks drew on it seemed less and less likely that the couple was going to toss him out. Sulen had not brought up his interest in Jim’s genetic oddities, and T’Mal had been just as accepting of his human nature as her bondmate had been…Though both were awkward at times, trying to satisfy his human need for affection with stiff hugs that lasted several minutes at a time, and out of place compliments about his physical appearance. It was odd, but it had cheered Jim up in times when he was feeling glum. 

More unfortunately the few times Jim had gone out, whether to the market or to an official doctor’s office to test for allergies related to indigenous Vulcan plants and animals, he was the receiver of unwanted stares and comments no matter how impolite or illogical the larger Vulcan population claimed the actions were. Jim wasn’t sure whether he should be looking forward to classes or not, but hopefully the population would grow used to him quickly.

“James,” T’Mal said approaching his door. “You are awake, are you not?”

Jim smiled a little, padding across the stone floor towards the door. “I am,” he said as it opened.

She nodded in acknowledgement. “Will you join Sulen and I for breakfast?”

“Yes,” Jim smiled. T’Mal tilted her head slightly, an action Jim had been growing to recognize as a returned smile. “Would you like help?”

She stepped back from the doorway, allowing Jim to prance ahead of her towards the kitchen area. “It is not required, however if you wish to assist me I will not refuse your offer.”

It was a happy time for him, helping in the kitchen. It allowed his hands and mind to be busy and occasionally for him to be able to talk to his new caretakers about how he was adjusting, the horrors he’d seen, or the abandonment of his mother. T’Mal and Sulen had both made the offer, the assertion that it would be acceptable (welcomed) should he decide to refer to them as Mother and Father, however it was quickly followed up with a We shall understand should you choose not to; or something of that nature. 

Serious consideration had gone into the offer, and Jim might have taken it, but there were still things that they needed to discuss before that. He’d hinted vaguely that he knew his genetics were strange on the ship, and it hadn’t come up again; but if they intended to keep him, to take permanent custody when and if his mother ever contacted them, they would need to fully understand his biology and some of his more...ominous traits.

“T’Mal…” He frowned slightly, perkiness dampened by the knowledge that he needed to tell them what he was if they intended to keep him. “Can I ask you something?”

The woman tilted her head again as she entered the kitchen just behind the young man. “I believe you already have, however, if you wish to ask another question I am amenable.”

Jim couldn’t help but grin at the obvious teasing. “It’s…” He paused, unsure of how to say it. “Do you promise not to freak out?”

“Vuhlkansu do not ‘freak out’.” She stated.

“Then what was that yesterday when you demanded Sulen to catch the valit that burrowed in….from on top of the table?” Jim said.

Her faced was carefully blank. “I thought you wished to discuss something that did not take issue with my logical dislike for burrowing rodents.” 

“Yeah…yeah…” Jim reached for the tableware in an effort to busy his hands. He sat the bowls down onto the counter, breathing deeply as he did so, and facing T’Mal again. “I was born in space to begin with, it’s unheard of for us. My brother said we seek land; a planet with life to have children so they are born feeling the life cycle. Most humans don’t really seem to care. Children born on space stations isn’t all that unusual now.”

T’Mal lifted her hand slowly, placing it on Jim’s shoulder. “If it is difficult, you needn’t share until you are ready. It may be beneficial to once again seek a healer with specialization in the mind.”

“The last doctor was invasive and went snooping in places he didn’t belong.” Jim said. “I…I trust you though. Even if you don’t like it, I don’t think you’ll tell anyone. I can’t give you physical proof though, so you’ll probably think I need mental help.”

“Whether I ‘like’ it or not is irrelevant. If it is a part of who you are I will not ask you to change.” She gently lifted her hand again, patting his hair. “If you wish to stop sharing I will understand. But perhaps it would be better that we wait for Sulen.”

“Alright,” Jim agreed, closing his eyes.

Sulen did join them a short time later, watching as Jim and his bondmate bustled around the kitchen. Jim had been put in charge of chopping root vegetables while T’Mal did more difficult tasks. It was an image that the older Vulcan male would never forget; a memory he could not even begin to fathom having of his own children who had embraced the Vulcan way so thoroughly that even in their adulthood could not admit that they felt the urge to express emotions at times that would be otherwise illogical.

He cared for his children as a father would, but none of them had needed him or their mother in the same way that Jim did. They all had the guidance of society and educators as well as he and T’Mal; but this James, he had primarily only had himself. Perhaps they would never fill the roles of parent as they had so begun to wish but they would still look after him as their own.

Jim looked lost in his memories as he began to speak. He’d noticed Sulen enter the room moments before and contemplated how to approach the subject. He’d first been seeing a Vulcan doctor who was meant to help him process his memories, but the man had not been helpful in the least. Rather, he’d caused Jim to clamp his mind shut in a way that the doctor had found to be baffling. The process had been invasive and it was all Jim could do to hold back memories he didn’t want to share; memories from his childhood and memories from Tarsus. They were precious to him, even if they were associated with troubling times.

“When I was ten.” He said. “A little while before I went to Tarsus I drove my dad’s antique car off a cliff. It was one of the reasons I was sent away. Mom had ended up married to my dad’s brother, Frank, and he was going to sell it, so instead I thought it would be better if it became worthless. If something so valuable could be disposable then I could as well.” His hands continued the motion of cutting.

“Frank isn’t the same as me, or my brother, or my mother and father; even though he’s my dad’s brother and they shared the same parents. I don’t think he knows. Sam told me that we don’t tell people, no one knows about us because if they did they would be afraid and if they started trying to hunt us down it would throw life out of balance.”

T’Mal slowed, turning to glance at Sulen who was listening intently. She didn’t know what to make of this story so far and by the carefully empty expression of her mate’s face, neither did he. To listen was the best option; to allow their James to reveal what he wished at his own pace, but she worried—logically—for the affects the neglect of his family and the trauma of Tarsus had left upon him. She didn’t quite understand his starting points or the events he was sharing, but they would allow him to unravel his tale as he saw fit.

“Mom was never around to explain things to me the way she and dad had been for Sam. It was only for a little while, but it was enough for him to know what to expect. She spent time with him, too, when she was home, much more than she did with me.” His hand slowed to a stop, no longer cutting the roots laid out before him. “I think seeing me hurt her. I think it was also the reason that, even though Frank was terrible, he never hit me like he did Sam. Everyone says I look like him, my dad.”

“There no shame in sharing the characteristics of your parent.” T’Mal said. “It is logical that you would share similar features to either.”

Jim hummed, laying the knife down. “That’s true, but human’s aren’t exactly known for using logic when their emotions become too strong. Our history is full of disasters, terrible manmade disasters because people became too emotionally involved either in the collective of society or with themselves. Again and again we repeat these processes…And because they feel it’s for the greater good it’s easy to justify the atrocities committed whether it’s murders, riots, wars or genocides.” Jim shook his head. “We’re illogical and violent. We cause ourselves so much grief over the smallest transgressions and have sought penance for things that didn’t ever have baring on our current lives.

“Whether or not it’s logical doesn’t mean there won’t be shame. It’s just in our nature to feel it when the parent who is supposed to care for you can’t even look at you. I’m sure Vulcan children would feel the same in a similar situation.”

T’Mal conceded. “You are correct.” She said. “However, I wish to express that you, now, should feel no shame. If you do Sulen and I will do our best to reassure you. However, it seems that what you need is closure…We can only hope that in time you find what it is you seek.”

“Thanks.” Jim said. He smiled a little as he shook his head; preparing to return to the main topic. “My brother though…He was the one to tell me what we are. I wanted to believe he was joking.” Jim said. “I wasn’t old enough to show signs, but he seemed so certain about it. Then the cliff and Tarsus happened…With all the death surrounding me…I started to understand what he was telling me…We’re a part of it.”

Sulen’s expression began to show alarm. “It is illogical to assume that because of the events surrounding the experimental colony that you would somehow be involved with the death of the colonists.”

Jim clutched the counter, looking down at his hands to avoid making eye contact. “I am though…Not directly, I didn’t kill them, but once they died it was my job. I had to send them on; and when I send them on I can feed directly from the energy released from the passage between life and death. It’s why I’m healthy. It’s why I never lost any weight even though I didn’t eat or drink for days at a time.” 

His body began shaking. They were going to think he was crazy and send him away; he could feel it in his bones. He’d never shared this part of his life with anyone; he didn’t know how to put it into words. How do you say “I’m a grim reaper.”

“James.” Sulen’s voice was strong as the young human’s name fell from his lips. “Calm yourself.”

The boy sniffled. He was crying, like he had been at the space station trying to deny the sadness he felt when none of his family had cared enough to find him. This time, however, it wasn’t a sadness that he’d always known. Tears of disappointment he was used to, he’d cried them seldom but he did cry them. This was fear. He liked, Sulen and T’Mal. They gave him a stable life. They were attentive though they allowed him independence; they showed him affection though the Vulcan people around them looked down on it. This pair was all that any child could want, whether they knew it or not. 

He was strange though. He wasn’t like them or most other humans. He could commune with the dead, he could show them the way to peace and he could stay healthy with minimal food and water just because he could draw energy out of the passage to the afterlife. His brother had told him it would make people afraid of him, so he couldn’t tell them. But that wasn’t his concern; his concern was that this couple who had so graciously taken him when no one else would was going to now know how weird he really was.

Sniffles turned into body shaking sobs. Very little sound actually came from Jim aside from the increasing frequency of sniffles, but tremors running through him when he fought back a cry nearly caused the opposite. This likely only added to whatever frustration Jim might have been causing them, but the tighter his control the more he felt as if he was slipping.

“James.” Sulen spoke again, closer this time. 

He knelt next to his human child, touching his arm gently so he didn’t alarm the boy. Again Jim’s emotions were tumultuous though on the surface he’d restrained them well. “We will not abandon you.” He ensured.

“You should.” Jim’s voice wavered. “I killed him you know. We’re not supposed to take life. We’re supposed to cherish it. But when he mangled Terry’s leg…I killed him. I’m a monster sa-mehk.”

“Sulen…” T’Mal reached forwards, somewhat startled by the sudden declaration.

Sulen merely looked up to his mate, his eyes wrought with more emotion than any other species would believe possible. “Will you show me, James?” He asked gently, redirecting his focus. “I understand that you find it unpleasant, however you will be the one in control. You may show me what it is you wish. Express to me what it is you believe you cannot.

“No matter what it is, sa-fu, we will not leave you behind.”

Jim nodded, body still shaking as he clenched his eyes tightly closed. Sulen’s strong hands guided him down onto the floor and touched his shoulder in warning before a hand was placed on his psionic points. Fear was radiating within him like an old wound not yet healed and he was sure it was unpleasant to the mind sliding along his own. He couldn’t suppress it though, not here in his own mind where the emotions seemed to reign over his every function. He could feel Sulen questioning though, it wasn’t direct, he couldn’t hear the man speak or anything of that sort, but he could understand the intent as if it were his own.

Though fear still owned his mind, Jim calmed his body as best he could, focusing instead on bringing up the memories he wanted to share; it was the only useful thing that had come of the Vulcan doctor picking through his mind and leaving small hints of judgement or disappointment. He still feared that Sulen and T’Mal would want him gone after he showed it; but he’d known this when he had decided to bring it up.

He’d known that.

The memory the welled up from his mind was short and to the point. Jim had been separated from Kevin and Terry once they’d entered the Governor’s home and later faced before Kodos he couldn’t control the very dark feelings which made themselves known for the first time in his heart. The hate for this man was deep, so deep Jim didn’t see red, but rather black. It was like a black spot on the memory as Kodos laughed dramatically. Not a figurative black spot, but a literally one.

Sulen as he observed couldn’t help but focus on it curiously, what did the spot represent to the child? That however was unimportant. Kodos was no longer laughing but pleading, his hand was at his temple, trembling around the phaser he held. “Don’t make me do this.” The man pleaded.

“You’ve killed enough.” Jim’s voice was hollow. “Your punishment is eternal and fate no longer in my hands.”

The phaser went off. The look of pleading fear of Kodos face didn’t change as his body collapsed.

Jim gasped, jerking himself back and away from Sulen. This was it, this was when he started to fear him, when he was sent back to Earth to fend for himself. This was when he finally learned his lesson about trusting anyone with his secret or his wellbeing.

“Tushah nash-veh k'du…” Sulen said quietly, reaching out and embracing the child. “I grieve with thee.”

Jim shook, slowly lifting his arms to wrap around the man, fighting back the tears. “..I killed him…”

He tightened his grip on the small human. “Sa-fu…I will not allow you to be alone.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Apology is illogical. You have done nothing to require atonement.”

T’Mal too knelt to be with them. “James, is there anything we can do?”

The boy shook his head. “I just want to be alone for a while.” He said.

“We will respect you need for space.” Sulen said. “We will not engage you on this subject until you make it known that you are ready.”

T’Mal squeezed the boy tightly before he stood to depart.

“Are you well?” She enquired. “Your distress was…disquieting.”

“It was not only my distress.” Sulen said. “James’ mind is troubled. He fears that we will leave him upon this revelation.”

“Revelation?” T’Mal lifted herself back into a standing position.

Though time had passed Jim still was unwilling to share his thoughts or speak freely. Both T’Mal and Sulen were aware that Jim was apprehensive, still trying to learn how to trust them, but he also seemed to be hiding something; something that he had just shared with Sulen. It had distressed him greatly, as it had been distressing the young man whom they were attempting to gain permanent custody of. Perhaps, she would finally learn what they needed to assure Jim that they would not so easily give him up.

The meal itself was silent, though that was normal. Jim took small sips of the spice tea placed before him, nibbling on the kreyla after dipping it into the vegetable puree. It was inappropriate by Vulcan standards to eat with one’s hands, but neither Sulen nor T’Mal would enforce such standards while they were in their own home. In public Jim would have to conform which was not valued amongst most humans, so he would not be forced into such strict social principles when in private. 

T’Mal looked to her bondmate, her hair put up in a simple twist to keep it away from her face while they partook. Sulen was worried, though it was not on his face it was clear through the bond. He was almost anxious. Jim was only a child and what he’d revealed to him caused enough distress that it had crossed the bond. She did feel discomfort due to the emotional transference but it was nothing like what her child was assuredly experiencing.

“All will be well.” She said.

Jim put his bread down. “On the ship. Sulen…Sa-mehk” He said carefully. “You asked me if I had ancestry that wasn’t human.”

“I recall.” Sulen answered. “You stated that you did not believe it so, though your genetic structures indicate that it is highly likely.”

“We’re human.” Jim said. “We’re just…Different.”

“Could it be that you are the descendant of one of the human augments?” Sulen questioned, placing the oddly shaped spoon to the side of his bowl. His hands folded in front of him as he made eye contact with the boy.

“Not that I know of,” Jim said. “But, I think I’m is what the researchers who created the augments were aiming for…My kind that is.”

“There are many types of human, however most genetic variation on the level you display is due to non-human breeding. Though, you suggest that there is not extraterrestrial ancestry. Why is this?”

Jim lifted his spoon to stir his vegetable puree idly as he averted his eyes. “You can’t tell anyone.” He said. “People are finally starting to leave superstitions behind…I…” The encouraging hand on his shoulder from T’Mal spurred him on. “Grimm Reaper, like I said before, is as close a concept as we can get in standard that’s universally understood. We…Um…There’s a bunch of different origin stories. Sam always told me death fell in love with life and desired so much to be a part of it he used a dying fetus as a means to gain a living body. 

“But every country of Earth has its’ own version of it. In some regions we’re equate to witches and gods, in other’s we’re prophets or omens.” Jim shook his head. 

“You believe yourself responsible for death?” Sulen couldn’t help the frown that appeared on his face.

“No…” Jim said. “We…We’re not able to kill…not any more than another human could. We frown upon it. My brother said that it’s because our job is to help them pass on after death. Because of that we also don’t die easily. I really don’t understand the science behind it, or know if there is any. Because we know each other at a glance we tend to seek others out it’s easy for us to form networks.” He frowned slightly. “I could show you that too, but I need time to prepare myself for a second meld.”

He felt guilty but it was better than experiencing the meld twice in one day. He looked back down at his food, stirring it absently. His appetite wasn’t the strongest at current, and he was still fighting the urge to take what would keep and hide it in case someone else needed it; but he knew logically that he was safe, that the people around him were safe.

“Jim,” Sulen said; his deep intonation a comfort to Jim’s ears in the way he would assume his biological fathers would have been. “If you do not yet wish to share this with me, I will not seek the information. It is yours to give and neither I nor T’Mal will forcibly take it from you. Rest assured.”

Shaking his head, Jim made eye contacted only briefly. “It’s not that. It’s just hard. There’s a lot that’s happened. I…Having someone else in my mind once today is already more than I can handle…I mean, I know I’m the one that asked, but, trying to explain some of the things without sounding unstable is nearly impossible without having the experience to go with it….” He paused. “Does that make sense?”

The Vulcan male tilted his head, attempting to get a better view of the child’s face. “I believe I understand.” He said. “If you do not mind, however, I would like to share with T’Mal what it is you have shared with me. Is that acceptable?”

Jim nodded.

 

T’Mal said nothing as she absorbed the information presented to her later on that day. The child that they had brought to his home was human, but something else as well. She could hear James, moving restlessly on the divan where he’d fallen asleep; he behaved no differently than a human child should…No, that wasn’t necessarily correct, he did behave in a human manner at times, but he was much more subdued than a human child. Perhaps due to the trauma he had suffered in his life. T’Mal was not certain, though she did know that James found the mind healers to be invasive and meddling. Perhaps there was an alternative solution.

“Your concentration runs quite deep on this matter.” Sulen said from his seated position next to her. “Are you able to sufficiently cognize the information? Do you seek clarification?”

Admittedly, she was having some amount of difficulty accepting the information as truth however illogical; but she knew enough about humans to understand that even if the information was a trick of James’ own mind, he truly believed it and that was enough to make it real, at least to the child. 

“My queries are not imperative; they may wait until a time that James is not distressed.” T’Mal clutched the cup of tea before her, adjusting her sitting position at the table. “I believe it would be beneficial for James to have contact with another human. They are rare, though not impossible to find. James’ may find the act of speaking by his own volition a superior form of therapy than a mind healer.” T’Mal conceded. “He is…sensitive of the secrets he holds.”

Sulen nodded once, no longer looking at his bondmate, but towards the area where Jim slept. He stuck out against the yellowed stone walls and bronze cushions, dressed in soft blues rather than the heavy Vulcan robes that he wore while in public. The boy was tossing more now, small noises escaping his mouth from time to time, but Sulen dared not disturb him. It was difficult for Jim to fall asleep most nights, and he woke as the sun rose into the sky. It was likely a learned habit. Something he’d forced himself to do to make sure the children he protected were always safe.

“It would be beneficial for James to have a human with experience in the cause of his distress.” T’Mal said. “It will be unlikely that we find such here.”

“You truly believe what James has shared?” Sulen questioned, not setting his eyes back on his mate, but continuing to watch the young human’s dreaming become more disturbed.

Humming as she lifted a cup to her lips, T’Mal contemplated the query. “I believe…That what is real to him may not be real to you nor I, but I also know that we hold something as convoluted as Thy’la, something that has not been witnessed in our lifetime, as a sacred bond. We cannot see it, and we do not know if its existence is certain, but we believe it exists.” She turned her eyes towards the human. “I believe that whatsoever he is, his genetic structure is proof of his claim, though we may not have enough information to confirm it is as he believes it.”

“I see.” Sulen accepted. It was reasonable. They had no proof for or against the child’s claim with the exception of his own memory, however, memory being subjective made it unreliable to proving the unproven and his own admission that he was unsure of the science or if there was any only made it seem more unlikely. 

“M’sorry,” Jim’s hushed whisper seemed to echo around the chamber. The room was chilled, a climate that Vulcan rarely experienced. Certainly they experienced coolness in the evening hours, but it was not within the confines of a home. 

Both Sulen and T’Mal felt the change and heard the soft resonance of an apology. It was curious, enough for them to turn their attentions towards the young man. Jim was sitting upright, staring out with tears and breathing heavily. He was quiet, gazing absently at the wall. Asleep, the Vulcan pair realized. 

Sulen hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do in such a situation. He’d read that it was best to let sleep walkers continue to sleep, but did this count? He placed his hand on Jim’s shoulder, allowing his own awareness to infiltrate the child’s mind. Instead what he got was a mental response. Jim’s mind had not lashed out as one would have expected, but invited his in.

“James is not in slumber as we had thought.” Sulen said, now staring as Jim was; seeing as Jim was. It was both amazing and terrifying in a way that he had never experienced. The doorway was both dark and blinding, and through their connection he could feel the fullness in his human son. Taking in energy as a plant would from sunlight. It was a surprise, but the awe-inspiring part was not that what Jim said was true, but that he could see the souls around him. 

Several Vulcan people, spirits, had gathered saluting the child and offering thanks as they passed through the opening between worlds. Neighbors who had long since passed were beacons among unfamiliar faces. Jim could not have imagined these.

“Sulen,” T’Mal grabbed her husband’s hand in an attempt to pull him away. She too was brought into the fray. “Oh my.”


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m still not sure how that happened.” Jim said shamefully, allowing Sulen to draw a blood sample from him. “I’m sorry that you and T’Mal got wrapped up in it.”

“Apology is unnecessary,” The old Vulcan said; his usual response to Jim’s apologies. “What concerns me is that you have not since that time referred me as a parent, nor T’Mal.”

“Are you okay with it though?” Jim asked. “If I do?”

“I am. Are you?” Sulen asked in return. “T’Mal and I have both suggested that when you are ready you call us as you wish. She was pleased when you chose to refer to me as your father.”

“I just…”The child frowned. “Am I worthy of it? To have a mother and a father? My father died when I was born and my mother couldn’t even be bothered to come and see me when I came back from Tarsus. Clearly she thinks I have such little worth, and if my own mother does then how true is it?”

“You struggle with this because humans, just as Vuhlkansu, associate their parentage with their own identities. However, a time comes when you will realize that the choices of your mother are not your responsibility.” Sulen placed the sample to the side, and placed his hands on Jim’s shoulders. “If you choose to make it so, your mother will be T’Mal, and I your father. If you choose not to then you will, regardless, remain our son.”

The awkward weight of Sulen’s hands were comforting to Jim. The Vulcan pair was still trying to accommodate his human desire for physical affection and parental affection; they were actions that spoke in volumes of their efforts to include him and make him feel welcome. It really wasn’t their fault he was having such difficulty with it but rather the fault of situational trauma of Tarsus and his biological mother’s abandonment.

“Thank you.” Jim said. “Does that mean if I started calling you sa-mehk it wouldn’t bother you?”

Sulen lifted his hands away. “If you choose to do so I cannot say I would be displeased.” He said.

Jim smiled a little. “Are you okay with…what I am?”

Sulen nodded. “I am. As I have stated prior to our guardianship of you, I find your genetic structure fascinating, however, it is not the reason we have brought you into our home. Should you find it discomforting I will not bring up your biology nor will I press you to allow me to study it further.”

“Thank you.” Jim said again. “I don’t mind though, as long as it’s you.”

“Thank you, Jim, for the honor of your trust and this opportunity.”

Jim started school a month later. The pods, he thought, were awkward, but he could also see the benefit. They allowed him to work at his own pace and while the others around him seemed to see no issue with them, Jim did find it sometimes difficult to focus when he could hear the low murmur of others answering their questions.

He was younger than many of the Vulcan children studying in the pods, though not all, and seemed to be on his way to catching up with those in his age group. Not that he was terribly far behind but after having been stranded on a dying planetoid, and being in recovery because of trauma for several months, there were some things he needed to review and relearn. 

Many of the other children didn’t interact with him. Most opted for avoidance while others ignored his existence completely. The few that did speak to him either seemed to be intrigued as to why a human would be in their midst or sought a target for their own aggressions. As illogical as bullying was, Jim found that it was surprisingly common among Vulcan children; perhaps even more so than human children.

Humans, as idiotic as they could be were generally capable to empathy and knew very well that if they displayed none at all it would be frowned upon. Vulcan however frowned upon all displays of emotion and bullying, as it were, was easily explained away as statement of fact even if they were only half truths or assumptions. 

“Human,” A monotone voice called out to Jim in a rare occurrence. “For what purpose were you given the ability to study on Vulcan?”

It was another child, older than Jim but only just. “I was adopted.” He answered easily. “My parents are Instructors for the VSA.”

“They must have brought you here for observational purposes.” The child suggested. “Are you perhaps their newest experiment?”

“No,” Jim said, “I’m not.” It took him only a moment to realize what was happening. This student was trying to make him feel inferior. Jim could understand that his words were meant to be insulting, but he couldn’t make himself care; he merely smiled as he gathered up his bag and the needed supplements for the lower oxygen levels of Vulcan.

“Your blatant show of emotion displays your inability to control your base instincts.” The child said.

“How so?” Jim questioned, walking passed. “I am human, it would be denying my biology if I were to try and suppress them. Humans are social creatures so it stands to reason that showing emotion is beneficial to us. Facial expressions, tone, body language are short cuts for communication. It allows us to know preemptively who is open to approach and who isn’t.”

“All unnecessary things, without emotion you would not need to worry illogically about such things.”

“If you’re telling me you’ve never felt emotion, you’re lying.” Jim said. “If you had no emotion you would find no issue with the fact that I’m human. You wouldn’t assume that I was adopted because I would make good material for experiments, and you wouldn’t be trying to tell me that my emotions are illogical and instinct driven.” He slowed his pace for the Vulcan to catch up. “If you were as you say, you wouldn’t even concern yourself with me.”

The pinched look on the child’s face made Jim grin. “I’m Jim Kirk.” He said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I am Stonn.” The older male said, leaving it simply at that.

None approached Jim after his conversation with the older Vulcan student, whether because they heard the discussion or not he didn’t know. In the long run it didn’t matter though; Jim was advancing through his lessons at an alarming pace. He’d always been intelligent, always a head of the game, but in this new learning environment where he traveled at his own speed Jim found himself jumping through lessons, testing out of some and gaining access to other more difficult ones years before it was expected.

Then again, the administrators seemed to have at first expected him to do poorly or at least work on a lesser level due to his humanity. He’d shown them wrong, so wrong in fact Jim was pulled aside several times and quizzed by a living being due to suspicions of cheating.

He could have cheated, there were enough spirits around him that he could have asked their assistance but he didn’t. That would have been no fun. What he did do, however, that others did not due to their own lessons outside of school for things such as emotional control and melding was study; and those Vulcan spirits that floated around him gladly assisted him in exchange for passage into the next world.

Repayment they’d called it even when he insisted that it was his job, but when it kept occurring Jim decided it was best to simply accept it, and now that he didn’t have to hide it from his parents it was much easier. They didn’t question it when it seemed he was talking to himself, and even occasionally could see the spirits themselves, though Jim wasn’t certain how. 

All of that, beginning with the Vulcan child who’d done his best to insult Jim culminated up to this point. 

Standing in an office in front of the Vulcan ambassador of Earth with his parents on either side of him, prepared for a battle if needed. He was accused once again of cheating during his study, this time with the added accusation of changing the program so his incorrect answers would be accepts as correct. Jim had argued back that if he had such ability it would have been easier to just steal the answers than rewrite a program, but despite his logic it still landed him in trouble.

Not prejudice his ass. Vulcan was turning out to be very unwelcoming in some regards. Certainly he was not stupid enough to expect to be accepted and welcomed with opened arms, he would have to prove himself to them, but this was getting ridiculous.

“What is your defense?” Ambassador Sarek inquired. 

“I didn’t do it.” Jim said simply. “It’s as simple as that, sir.”

“If you have no proof then I would have no choice but to take the administrators word as truth.”

“Ambassador,” Sulen spoke. “Is it not logical to assume that if neither James, nor Administrator Solon, has proof that there is no blame to be placed? James is a hard worker; he studies diligently and is able to comprehend complex theories that even my students have trouble with…If there is a culprit in this, it is not James.”

“Unfortunately,” Sarek said with little feeling. “I must stand with Administrator Solon. He has presented evidence and you have not.”

Jim bristled. “How am I supposed to prove to you that I was studying in my room?”

T’Mal placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Ambassador, I ask you to reevaluate your decision. James…He has been through quite the ordeal, but in this I can also tell you that he is quite remarkable and I do not think he would find it beneficial to do something as illogical as-”

“Humans are quite often illogical.” Sarek interrupted. “I find that the majority of them are emotionally driven and make choices based on their feelings and occasionally lack of outlet for them. Perhaps the problem lies with your own inability to raise a human child.”

Clenching his jaw Jim stepped forwards. “If you want proof,” he said, eyes blazing. “Take it. You can hear my thoughts, see my actions, feel my emotions. Take. It.”

“James.” Sulen said sternly. “You mind is much too complicated for the Ambassador to fully comprehend. Though his chosen mate is human I doubt she is of the same kind as you; he will not be able to navigate your mind.”

“Kind?” Sarek’s eyes narrowed on the boy. “Tevakh-fam?”

The mated pair’s forms stiffened, preparing further to take Jim and run if needed. The Ambassador though seemed to have other thoughts. “You are correct,” he said carefully. “The child’s mind would be difficult to navigate, even a healer would find issue with it. Though the human and Vulcan’s brain structure and mentalscape are similar, the Tevakh-fam is alien to us.

“You needn’t worry for his safety. I too wish not to disturb the peace of their kind. However I, as a member of the board of education must take this seriously yet. If you are willing, I will contact someone who will be better able to assess this situation.”

“I trust that you are not contacting one who would seek to harm our child?” T’Mal said. “James has survived much, I do not think it wise to attempt to harm him further.”

Sarek considered for a moment. “I am not. However, if what you say it true and the child is what you say he will be severely lacking in ability. If it can be proven that he is in fact not guilty of this crime then it will also be to his benefit.”

Sulen and T’Mal shared a look as Sarek temporarily left the room to make a private call. Why he couldn’t do it from the office was beyond them, though perhaps it was for the safety of everyone. They couldn’t be certain and wouldn’t be until whomever the ambassador called had arrived.

He returned to the room minutes later with a calm expression; one which Jim had no doubt that he would deny existed based on the things Vulcan’s seemed to believe of themselves so far. Instead Jim looked around the room, absently at first, and then more intensely at the wall of books behind the man. He wanted to touch, to skim through the Vulcan written texts with such interesting titles as Cultures of Terra. Just what did Vulcan logic assume of humans? What a good question.

“Ambassador,” Jim said. “What do Vuhlkansu really assume humans are like?”

“Elaborate.” He said simply.

“Since I’ve come here, I’ve been stared at just from walking with my parents. I expected that, I’m a new, and different, person; it was the same when I first got to Tarsus IV.” The Ambassador looked up from his PADD immediately. “But here it seems like, even if I try to conform to Vulcan standards I’m still treated as if I’m being flamboyantly human.

“What I would like to know is, are Vulcan’s like humans in this regard? Those who aren’t well traveled or educated in dealing with foreign peoples tend to be more prejudice compared to those who have been to many places or spoken with many types and species? Because it seems to me that every Vulcan I’ve met so far who has traveled the galaxy has been far more understanding than those who haven’t.”

“You are thirteen?” Sarek asked and was met with a quick ‘yeah’. “It is an impressive question coming from one so young. I do not have an answer for you however. Vulcan, like Earth is a diverse planet, and though we strive to be logical many do fall short of that and allow their baser emotions to rule.

“Such mistakes are part of living, however, and we can only attempt to do better.”

“You’re definitely a politician.” Jim said. “More honest than the one’s on Earth though.”

“You know of Terran politics at such a young age?”

Jim pointed to himself. “Documented Genius. I was learning advanced mathematics and science when I was on Tarsus.” He was silent for a moment. “They didn’t have university since it was just a colony. Hoshi and a scientist—T’Vysse—were teaching me when they had free time.”

“I see.”

A gentle knock on the door caused the room to quiet. A woman—a gentle looking woman—wrapped in the standard Vulcan robes stepped through the door. Her face was carefully blank, but her eyes expressed much more than her neutral body language. She was human. The Ambassador’s human wife.

Jim felt his mind react before he could properly greet her. Her name was Amanda, she was around the same age as his own biological mother and she was well trained. There were other things—things Jim understood instinctively but could not put words to—and there were things that Jim couldn’t comprehend at all.

She smiled pleasantly. “Hello, Jim.” She said. “You’ve been through a lot haven’t you?”

Jim nodded. “Yeah.”

The woman turned away. “Sarek, he’s the reason you requested I come?”

“He is.” The Ambassador confirmed. “Administrator Solon had made the claim that his child had gained his achievements through deception. James has offered his thoughts as proof, however due to his nature it would be difficult to gain this knowledge without the potential of damaging his mind.”

“You cannot navigate his mind?” She asked.

“There has been trauma. I do not wish to worsen it by inadvertently accessing thoughts I was not meant.” Sarek said. “Since you are of the same type I thought it best to request assistance.”

Amanda looked to Jim, then to the Vulcan couple seated on either side of the child. “You know?” She asked.

“It was inadvertent but…inevitable, I believe.” Sulen said. “I had attempted to wake him from what I thought to be a nightmare, as humans commonly have, however I found myself welcomed into his mind instead. T’Mal then attempted to pull me back and too found herself, through me, welcomed into his mind.”

“And what did you see?” Amanda questioned.

“We saw as he saw.” Sulen said. “Those we knew to be long since passed, and others that wore garb so ancient we could not place the time period beyond Pre-Surak.” The elder Vulcan shook his head in a human fashion. “This was, however, many months passed. We do occasionally see what he can, but not to the same extent.”

Sarek looked to his wife curiously. He had never been in her mind in such a way that he could see the way it worked. He hadn’t believed her at first, and she had not revealed herself to him until after he’d encountered her in the gardens supposedly speaking to ‘herself’. It had been a gentle touch that had brought the spirit to his eyes. A child he’d known to have passed during his trek through the desert. He’d never been given the privilege to see the world as Amanda did, and he wasn’t certain that he wanted the opportunity.

The woman nodded. “Jim will need training.” She said. “He’s young, so it’s unlikely that he would know what he needs to.” She waved a hand. “We can do that later. For now let’s see what the verdict is.

“Jim, could you stay sitting.” Amanda said, reaching out a hand as she leaned in. She pressed her forehead to Jim’s and after a moment found herself swimming in thoughts and memories. Jim assisted, recalling the tests he had taken and the studying he had done in his own free time with the help of those who wished to cross over. 

He told the spirits that it was unnecessary for them to pay him back, but they insisted that they share their knowledge. Amanda smiled a little. It seemed Jim’s experience was similar to hers; after death the Vulcan people seemed much more opened to displaying emotion and illogical acts of kindness.

Amanda pulled away. “Jim is quite gifted.” She said. “He would find no benefit to cheating an exam he is already familiar with the information of. The Administrator is mistaken. I would however like to request a few days a week from Instructors Sulen and T’Mal that I see Jim to work on his ability.”

“If James sees fit we will not deny him the chance to interact with one of his own.” T’Mal said. “We only request that it not interfere with his studies and that he be home in time for evening meals. As we understand it human children need space to forge independence, however stability and his studies are also important.”

“I completely agree.” Amanda said.

“I will inform Administrator Solon that his claim was found to be false.” The Ambassador said. “Should a claim of this sort happen again and be found false I will ensure that he is properly reprimanded.”

Jim said nothing for a long while, taking his time instead to observe while he trusted his new parents to speak for him. Sarek seemed like a very accepting man, though he had married outside of his species so perhaps that was indicative of his character. Jim liked him for the most part and he liked Amanda too. There was something else there though. He could feel something else about the two, but he couldn’t place it. It felt sad though, longing even. 

Perching herself on the edge of the Ambassador’s desk, Amanda smiled in what Jim thought was probably a rare display of public emotion. “Jim, dear, when would you like to begin lessons?”

“Anytime I guess.” Jim answered. “My brother taught me what he could before he ran away. But there are still things I don’t know or understand. Like…I’m supposed to be able to estimate a time of death if it’s near, right? But when I was on Tarsus I couldn’t even though there were so many people dying.”

Like Sarek, Amanda looked shocked and took a moment to compose herself, looking between the two older Vulcan, before settling her eyes back on the child. “That…If the deaths were randomly chosen that could go a long ways for explaining why.” She said.

Jim shook his head though. “I took care of children who were sentenced to death.” He said. “We lost a couple and I didn’t feel it coming. I knew it would since they had been sick and not able to gain weight, but I didn’t know when.”

Smiling sadly, Amanda watched the older Vulcan male place a supporting hand on the child’s shoulder in a very human gesture. “We can attempt to work on that.” She said. “Vulcan’s have long lifespans compared to most other humans though so it may be difficult to pinpoint a specific time.” She smiled. “Not that we can anyhow. It’s like when you become able to work with chaos, it’s a vague sense not an exact number or place.”

Confused, Jim bit his lip. “I’ve worked with chaos, and in the void.”

“You know how to help others through it and take what you need.” Amanda said; her face brightened again. “There’s a lot more you can do. Infinitely more.”

Jim looked to Sulen, then T’Mal. “Can we start tomorrow? Or in the next few days?”

“I have time.” Amanda volunteered.

The Vulcan pair seemed to be communicating on a mental level before the man spoke again. “If you are amenable.” Sulen said in address to Amanda and the Ambassador.

“I will accept my wife’s decision.”

The human woman stood. “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow afternoon Jim. Come to me after your classes end.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I know I've only been posting one chapter about every 1.5 months, but it's going to take a little while longer before the next one. I'm a little worried that because of my schedule I'm going to run out of chapters to post before I can write new ones to take their places. so I'm going to spend a little time building up my backlog and also preparing the information on Reapers.
> 
> On that I've gotten 6 pages transcribed from my notes and I'm working on building up terms for certain aspects. I do however have general abilities, rarity of them, Lore and Mating habits. I'm deciding whether or not the history is necessary and I still need to write out the conditions for death in space and how nonhuman species may react if turned into a Reaper. If anyone has some suggestions about where I should post this initially feel free to let me know. Everyone I know irl has suggested Tumblr, but I really am not a fan.
> 
> Thank you for reading my dears.


	4. Chapter 4

“Jim,” Amanda said sternly, “Focus.”

“I am.” The young man ground out. “I only have so much ‘focus’ in me.”

The woman huffed, patients having grown thin. “You have to want it Jim.”

He looked at her with irritation. “We’ve been working on this for two weeks.” He said. “And I still don’t know what you’re trying to teach me!”

Amanda’s scowled grew deeper. The child in front of her was an anomaly. The boy’s mind had all but sucked his guardians in and turned them into Reapers. They could see as he did even though their minds were not in contact with Jim’s, but the boy couldn’t even tell her the point of death for a very old Vulcan woman passing by the windows of the Embassy. At first she had thought it was because of his long term exposure to death on the failing planetoid; that his mind had blocked out the ability for the time being. But the fact that he could see the dead, he could greet her properly, he could use his enhanced kinetics removed all reason that he wouldn’t be able to at least give some indication if someone was near death or not.

In frustration Amanda threw her hands up. “Everyone has a point of death, Jim. Sometimes they’re so far off you can’t yet see them, sometimes they’re so close you can’t help but see them!” She hissed. “It’s not going to be a detailed vision of the future, just a feeling. Like when you feel like something bad is going to happen.” 

Jim’s eyebrows drew further together. “And I’m telling you I can’t tell. I couldn’t tell on Tarsus, and I can’t tell here.”

“And why do you think that is?!” Amanda snapped.

Jim in returned snapped also. “I don’t know! Everyone on Tarsus was probably going to die before help got there, maybe everyone here is going to die too!”

“That’s not funny Jim.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” He said. “I have been dealing with this on my own since I before Tarsus, everything I can do I learned by surviving and when you know everyone Is going to die learning to hone the ability to show you when is hardly important…And when you’re trying to keep some of them alive you don’t want to know.”

The woman instantly deflated. “You think that your mind is still reacting to your time there.”

“Well,” Jim began crossing his arms.” Unless everyone here really is about to die I can’t think of another reason. I’m so far not terribly traumatized by any of it so maybe this is the one thing that went wrong. And I can’t exactly seek help for it here since all the Doctors want to poke around in your mind to figure out what’s mental going on.  
“It’s a terrible feeling by the way. Jostling around with no care for what they might stumble over, or prying in places they have no business…For such a ‘logical’ species they sure are nosey.”

Amanda’s frown curled upwards. “You’re not wrong there.” She agreed and breathed out a tension alleviating breath. “Alright, we’ll work on it later.” She said. “I’m sorry for letting out my frustration on you.”

“Yeah,” Jim said. “Me too.”

“I’ll talk to Sullen and T’Mal about your block.” She said. “Until then, we’ll try to increase your skill physically.”

Physically, Jim wanted to throw himself down one of the many mountains that had been hollowed and restructured into buildings. He’d been working with Amanda for just over 2 weeks, learning about himself and his kind. He’d been perfecting his understanding of the Vulcan language, both spoken and written. He’d been studying to catch up with and surpass his age group in school, and he was doing all that while continuously adapting to the Vulcan environment, culture and maintaining his family life.

Jim Kirk was thirteen years old and a mess.

Spirits, now that Jim was more in sync with his abilities, were almost always around him; an occurrence even Amanda thought was strange. He learned quickly and had gained the knowledge and abilities he needed as well as some that he shouldn’t have yet had the ability to use—though he had not shared the information with Amanda. Jim groaned into his pillow.

The Vulcan, according to Amanda, had their own method of passing over as spirits. She’d never met a Vulcan reaper, but she suspected they existed though perhaps not in the same capacity. Jim wasn’t so sure. He did get the feeling though that there was something. It was like that warm comforting feeling he got when he entered the Embassy. Amanda had told him Reapers happened towards jobs that put them in direct contact with either the public or dying. The Embassy was a good place for that right? Or perhaps what he felt there was nothing to with Reapers but the more opened feel. It was possible too that the Vulcan people had, rather than individuals, a method that allowed Spirits to pass when ready and without assistance. 

He blinked, tiredly, uncertain as he rolled over onto his stomach and yawned.

“James,” T’Mal entered the doorway to his room. “Are you well?”

“I am.” Jim said, not bothering to remove his face from the pillow. “I’m just exhausted.”

“Perhaps it would be best for you to rest.” She said. “I will restrict you to home after your classes tomorrow until you feel well.”

Jim smiled. “Okay.” It was a weird thing to be happy about but he was. The care that was offered to him on this planet was superior to all others. “Can I sleep before dinner?” He asked.

“If you are in need I will encourage it.” T’Mal said. “I will wake you when it is time to join us.”

Jim smiled to himself and laid in bed for several tens of minutes before he slept. His dreams were pleasant for the first time in a while. There were no images or figures, no bodies lying with dull eyes or emaciated bodies of children, but instead there was a vague sense of comfort and love, of stability found in a place not unlike his home. He woke later with the feeling intact but also with a hand brushing his forehead. 

“You have a fever.” T’Mal said simply, meeting Jim’s eyes. “Are you in need of nourishment?”

Jim shook his head tiredly. “No, can I sleep more?”

“You may.” His mother said. “I will inform Sulen so that he may assess the cause of your heightened temperature.”

T’Mal didn’t leave Jim’s side as she waited for her bondmates arrival. The situation struck her as odd; James, as Amanda had informed them, would not easily catch illnesses and if he did it was likely self-induced—a defense of sorts to camouflage themselves to the general population. She said it hadn’t been important in modern times where vaccinations had ensured that most illness was avoidable on federation planets so it wasn’t often taught. Could it have been that Jim had somehow inadvertently caused his own fever?

T’Mal wasn’t certain and gave Sulen a blank look as he entered the room. Her emotions, controlled as they were, could not be held back in light of the child’s sudden ailment. “I cannot ascertain the cause.” She said. “Ms. Grayson has ensured that illness is unusual for their kind.”

Concerned himself from the exceedingly pale skin on their already fair human son, Sulen readily took charged and began examining him. There was nothing out of the ordinary, physically, beyond the fever. It was disquieting to the couple who had long since cared for the boy as their own. The readings from the scanning device did show an odd surge in his psionic patterns. They were increasing. The wavelengths had a longer reach than was normal for a human. Amanda Grayson had been able to communicate with the boy without contact and then again with minimal contact to meld regions, not unlike a Vulcan. Perhaps the mind of these people were not as dissimilar to his own as he and T’Mal assumed; however he was still unsure and even more unwilling to bring his son into a place such as the VSA to make use of their facilities while he was in such a condition.

“Contact Ms. Grayson if you would.” Sulen said. “I believe her input would be beneficial in approaching a conclusion for the cause of this malady.”

“It will be done.” T’Mal said. “Is there anything you require of me in the time it shall take her to arrive should she be available?”

“You wish her to come here?” Sulen asked. He had only meant to call, however in retrospect she would likely come of her own volition.

“It is logical.” T’Mal said. “She is not a doctor, however she is able to communicate easily through mental connection to him in a way that we cannot. Though our minds do connect it is difficult for him. Ms. Grayson may also be able to give us better explanation once she had seen his form for herself.”

“You are correct.” Sulen stated simply. There was a pattern emerging with this child. Perhaps it was the same pattern that life followed peace would be followed with chaos which would bring with it struggle then resolution which would be again followed by peace. His own biological children had gone through such cycles, however he knew how to help them, how to guide them in their quests for solutions. With Jim it was different. He was not only human, he had gone through many traumatic experiences. His quests for solution would not be the same as his own children who had grown up with both parents and little struggles; even if that was what they now offered him.

“She will arrive shortly.” T’Mal answered from the doorway. “James, she believes, is perhaps undergoing a rapid increase of psionic ability. I believe she called it a growth spurt. She says that it does occur when one begins training.”

“I do not believe rapid growth would commonly cause increase in body temperature.” Sulen said. “It is perhaps specific to their kind? I find that I feel some anxiety in this situation, not knowing the explicit details of his biology. In time I hope to rectify that.”

Amanda did arrive quickly, dressed in quickly thrown on robes. Looking as frazzled as T’Mal was beginning to feel. She was brisk in her pace as she followed the statuesque woman through the home. The house was significantly cooler than her own, Amanda noticed. It was perhaps for Jim’s benefit however it was likely causing some issue for the older couple.

Sulen sat by the bed monitoring the pale boy’s condition. He was tense and radiating his anxiety outwards. T’Mal had only been gone long enough to invite Amanda in and show her the way and in that time his child had wakened long enough to whisper out something that even Sulen wasn’t sure he ever wanted to hear repeated.

“Sulen,” T’Mal called, moving aside to allow Amanda entrance. 

The Doctor too allowed her space but did not leave arms reach of the child. “Will you be able to ascertain the reason for his state?”

Amanda looked uncertain as she leaned in close enough to connect with the boy. His mind was in chaos, but what was the cause he would not allow her to access. Only small glimpses made it through; vague feelings or dread and terror as if he were trapped in a terrible memory. She wanted to say it was his memory of Tarsus, but it felt far away as if a distant future. The place Jim seemed to know; space somewhere, a dreadful and monstrous ship.

She pulled away from him, gasping from pain and the realization that struck. She was not being kept at bay; her mind was simply unable to comprehend the details, the death, and horror and instead compartmentalized the excess, giving her only vague hints of the future. Amanda was shaking violent.

“Ambassador Sarek has requested your audience.” T’Mal said.

“H-how long?” the human woman said. 

“Only a few moments time has passed.” Sulen answered. His own anxieties were elevating. His child was suffering in some way and their only hope for assistance was struggling with the aftermath of only a short touch of his mind. 

“I…” Amanda looked away from him. “He needs an Elder.” She said. “An old one of our kind.”

“Something is wrong?” he asked.

“No…Nothing is wrong per se.” She crossed her arms, an attempt to stem the tremors that kept coming. “He’s powerful…There are two levels of power that we can become without biological interference. Your average reaper, their power can vary depending on age, whether or not they’re born or created and Titan, almost exclusively born…They’re power is, for us average reapers, overwhelming. But they’re rare, and they’re hard to teach.

“Doctor…You have to understand this, Jim is young, for a thirteen year old he has incredible control over his abilities, but if he’s a Titan like I think he will need more than just my assistance.” She bit her lips. “I don’t know what to tell you otherwise. His temperature should return to normal once he stops having visions; until then just keep a cooling pack on his head.”

“Ms. Grayson.” T’Mal said again. “The Ambassador insists that you speak with him.”

The woman looked between the two and nodded. “Of course; my apologies.” She said, listening absently to the directions she was given to the office.

Sulen couldn’t do more than stare at his son. The boy, the words he’d spoken; the words Amanda Grayson had spoken. He was alarmed and worried for the boy. Visions of what he could only assume was the future; a future that he feared would become true.

“Are you well?” T’Mal inquired.

“I believe we must either solicit help from another of Jim’s kind or take him to Earth for proper training.” Sulen turned his eyes to his wife, his concern was visible on his form as it was hers. “I cannot say for certain but I believe he may be hurting himself, though not purposefully.”

Swallowing back a tightness in her throat T’Mal nodded. “We will explore our options further once James has made a recovery.”

“It is…Illogical.” Sulen said. “I have been assured, in not so many words, by Ms. Grayson that this power will only grow. Waiting for his recovery is but a comfort to our own minds. We must begin now. I do not know the consequences of this ability going untrained, but the time he will suffer as such until we come to a decision must be reduced.”

“I understand.” T’Mal conceded. “We shall instead ask Ms. Grayson our options and put in inquiry for contact with one of their Elders.”

“I concur.”

“We shall allow her mind to settle.” It was not a question.

By morning Jim was awake, though his body ached, and sitting with his parents in the communal area. They were leaving for the VSA very shortly and would taking him with them, though not for the usual reason. Ambassador Sarek and Amanda would be there to discuss his options for treatment with him as they would T’Mal and Sulen later on. They, however, wanted Jim’s thoughts on the matter before beginning to reach their own conclusions for what would be best. On trivial matters—comparatively—it made sense for the Vulcan pair to be the decision maker for the child; however due to the nature of the problem at hand it would be wrong not to have his input on something that would affect his life.

Jim had been on Vulcan for several months, he was adapting well to the environment, and education, and even the people. The stares, though frequent, had lessened in areas he was often seen. He was beginning to blend in and they didn’t want to cause anything to disrupt the comfortable pattern he’d entered without purpose. However if worse came to worst they would do the necessary; though what was necessary they still weren’t certain.

“What if I have to leave?” Jim asked quietly. The morning meal in front of him was left untouched; a clear sign of his anxieties.

“We will not know if that is the only way until we have begun learning what our options are.” T’Mal said. “If possible we would like to bring one of your Elders here. We can neither be certain, however, if they will be able or willing. No matter the outcome you will not be without.”

“Let’s get it over with.” Jim said. He’d grown to trust the Vulcan couple, to love them, to call them his parents, but his worries and experiences still had him on edge. What if it turned out that these visions of his were the last straw? What if they no longer wanted to be his parents? Jim didn’t want to lose another family, not when he’d already lost so much.

Nothing was said to the two Vulcan regarding his feelings and fears. If that did end up being the case, Jim didn’t want to whine or cry; he merely wanted to walk away with his dignity intact; though he wasn’t certain that he would be able. He would survive though; it was the one thing he could count on.

T’Mal and Sulen had expected many things when they left their child with Amanda Grayson and the Ambassador, however it was not the cool indifference with which they found themselves faced. Jim, though he had been anxious during his morning meal, had not been quite so cold; rather he seemed as if he feared the outcome of the meeting they would be having. The small human had purposefully avoided contact with them and stepped away when comfort was offered. Whatever the problem, they would sort it before the day was over.

“What are my options?” Jim was to the point as soon as the office door was shut and his parents no longer part of any potential conversation. “They say if possible they want to bring an elder here, but that’s not something that’s done, is it?”

Amanda shook her head. “It isn’t. There are very few Elders and they have lives to live as well.” She said. “I can continue helping you here but you will likely suffer great pains as will your parents if you don’t have the necessary training. As it is, I am not able to offer the assistance you require.”

He understood. Of course he did. James Tiberius Kirk was a genius, he could definitely understand exactly what Amanda was telling him; go back to Earth. There was nothing for him on Earth though. Maybe one day that would change, but he would rather bare the pain that came with whatever was happening to him than be alone. But his parents, how would he hurt them? Emotionally? Physically?

He paused for a long moment. “What will happen to T’Mal and Sulen?”

“They have a very high chance of dying. As I’ve said, Vulcan does not have a Reaper population in the same sense that Earth does. Though we have a common ancestor we can’t know the rate in which they will be affected by your power. Because you are connected with them as parent and child it could be that you will inadvertently try to turn them into one of us. And I can’t teach you how to control it.”

“Bullshit.” He said. It wasn’t much but it was enough to cause both Amanda and her Vulcan husband to rise to their feet. “I don’t think that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“What makes you think that we are afraid?” Amanda asked.

“Because I remember what I saw.” Jim said. “They said you had to be called and whatever you saw in me the Ambassador was calling only seconds after it began. You saw what I saw.”

“I saw only fragments.” Amanda stated. “Your mind is more powerful than my own. I cannot comprehend the complexity of your visions and you cannot control them. That is enough, on its own, to cause your guardians distress.”

Nothing was said afterwards. Amanda was right, and Jim knew he was being stubborn; but this was his life and she, the one who offered her assistance, was now saying she wouldn’t be able to help any longer. The frustration in him was strong. He, adamantly, did not want to return to Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still no closer to getting anymore of my backlog filled. But I felt so bad about not posting for a month I'm going to go ahead and put this chapter up. 
> 
> I feel like I'm rushing it a little...on the plus side I've got the Reaper Lore and info mostly done. I'm just working on a few odds and ends and making sure there are no discrepancies...and also that they're not completely infallible.
> 
> Happy Nanowrimo to you guys participating. Good luck <3


	5. REAPER LORE (NOT A CHAPTER)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to delete this with the next update. 
> 
> For now though here is the information I've been working on for Reapers. It's not 100% complete but all of the hard rules are in place and it's ready for use to whomever wants to try it out.
> 
> INFO HERE  
> <http://skeletontyrant.blogspot.com/>
> 
>  
> 
> It took a while but I finally just decided to make a blog for it. I don't much like tumblr, dA is more for drawing I think, and I have no idea how LJ works. I could have posted here as a chapter, but this is tacky enough with me deleting it later. 
> 
> Enjoy ya'll. :) Please let me know if you decided to use it, I would love to see what you do with the Reapers.

(Just in case it gets crazy in the descript I'm copying it to here.)

I'm going to delete this with the next update. 

For now though here is the information I've been working on for Reapers. It's not 100% complete but all of the hard rules are in place and it's ready for use to whomever wants to try it out.

INFO HERE  
<http://skeletontyrant.blogspot.com/>

 

It took a while but I finally just decided to make a blog for it. I don't much like tumblr, dA is more for drawing I think, and I have no idea how LJ works. I could have posted here as a chapter, but this is tacky enough with me deleting it later. 

Enjoy ya'll. :) Please let me know if you decided to use it, I would love to see what you do with the Reapers.


End file.
